Week 18

 


        Crystal Palace can’t seem to do anything easy. They should’ve had Watford here but a tame penalty from Christian Benteke was saved and they gave away the cheap equalizer. Those could’ve been key points for them but once again the find themselves hovering two points above relegation.

Arsenal toiled and finally got their deserved three points late. These are the type of wins you expect from Arsenal as they tend to pick up their points from the lower sides. That win really makes the top four competitive.

West Ham continue to push up the table closer to where they should be after a dismal start of the season. Swansea however looked poor again. Whether shocking or not, Swansea City boss Bob Bradley was fired after a record of 2-2-9. Given, this wan’t much worse than the man he succeeded but management was expecting a boost from Bob and it never really came. It’s not yet 2017 and Swansea will be on their third boss of the year. They are clutching at straws and really look desperate. It’s hard not to see them favored for the drop.

Speaking of the drop Sunderland got dropped by United 1-3. United looked as good as they have all season and their form is great as of late. They are closing in on the top four which i still expect them to finish in. Sunderland look desperate and their run of fixtures does not get easier. How many seasons can they get away with playing with fire?

The leaders show once again why they are the leaders with their 12th straight win. This time in the form of a more convincing victory. They hold their 6 point lead at the top and it’s hard to see them losing it at this point. Not sure what else to write about them. Bournemouth won’t be bothered as they will continue to pick their points need be and remain in the league.

Everton are trying to get out of mid-table mediocrity with another win, this time against Leicester City. This Leicester team makes nothing easy on themselves. Quite the opposite from last season which i’m sure their tired of hearing at this point. Everton’s problem is I don't see where they would fit in the top 6 and 7th seems to have their number written all over it.

Manchester City continue to display fine quality with an emphatic win over Hull. I’ve talked quite a bit about them so maybe we’ll focus on the losers Hull City. After 2 early wins this season i believe they have only won one game since then. Truly abysmal. Should they or Swansea not be relegated i’d be quite surprised.

Liverpool continue winning ways after a difficult start. Stoke went ahead early but Liverpool came storming back. Late on Sturridge came on and got his first Premier League goal of the season. Not a bad sub to start finding the net since Mane will be gone at the African Cup of Nations.

Tottenham played a similar game in that they went down early and came roaring back to a 4-1 win. That was an important one too as Man U are trying to put heat on them. Tottenham are currently 1 point out of 4th which Arsenal hold. Of course we all know which side of Arsenal they’ll finish…

Week 17

 Aside from early on, Crystal Palace never really looked like scoring. Which is a terrible prospect when playing Chelsea. Chelsea certainly do one thing well: score on you and shut up shop (not from a lack of trying though.) One feels that Chelsea can’t keep missing this many opportunities and still be crowned champions. Yet nearly half way through the season they find themselves 6 points clear.

Middlesbrough are taking their points well and taking them where they can get them. After getting thrashed 3-0 they turn the tables the next week and return the favor to Swansea. They are one of the bottom eight or so who find themselves fighting relegation but if they can get the points against the teams at the bottom then they are safe. Swansea on the other hand… not sure Michael Bradley had much of a chance to begin with when he took over this team. I still tip him to save the Swans though.

Stoke City drop points while Leicester City gain a crucial point. Stoke have among their best team in years yet aren’t really living up to potential. However I see them clicking and finding form throughout the rest of the season and can see them as a team no one wants to play on the road. Leicester City are just happy with their points as staying in the league is their only goal this season.

Sunderland got a crucial win against Watford and it moved them out of last. There’s something about Sunderland that they know how to just survive every year. Something I wish to apply to my own family’s Christmas this year.

Manchester United appear to be in form now and they’re really not that far out. A game behind Tottenham and two behind City. Should they be able to keep this run going they can make a decent shot at the top four. I’m calling it 50/50 at this point. We’ll see if Mourinho can work his magic. Pogba is beginning to really take over games and if they can feed Ibra i don’t see why they can’t pick up plenty of points.

Another week Arsenal take the lead, another week they lose 2-1. At times it appears as though Alexis Sanchez straps this team on his back and carry them as he did for the opening goal. However, just after half the Eric Andre lookalike Leroy Sane got his first City goal to draw level. Then De Bruyne had an expansive pass that gave Sterling much work to do. He quickly shifted his feet and went near post as David Silva appeared to at least hinder Petr Cech’s sight of the ball. Unfair goal but it stood and it appeared that as the game was going that City would’ve won anyway. This certainly shakes up the top 4!

Then Tottenham got back to winning ways as they felt United breathing down their necks. The following day saw the final game of match week 17 between Everton and visiting Liverpool for the Merseyside Derby. If it was skill and goals you were looking for look elsewhere. Tackles came crunching in and Ross Barley was lucky to stay on the pitch in the rivalry that has produced the most red cards of any Premier League fixture. Liverpool left it all late though as Mane scored off the post-bound shot of Sturridge in stoppage time. They moved up to second but it’s a distant second of 6 points behind leaders Chelsea.

Weeks 15 and 16

Since this week had two fixtures i’m going to group them together and give a synopsis that you probably could’ve done on your own.

Arsenal

won 3-1 vs Stoke

lost 1-2 vs Everton

Just when Arsenal fans were dreaming they had to remind them that they are indeed Arsenal. Like a case of the crabs i think this will be a temporary and fixable setback for them and i see them returning to winning ways most of the rest of the season. But, you know. Not too much to win the damn thing.

Bournemouth

lost 2-3 vs Burnley

won 1-0 vs Leicester City

For a team like Bournemouth you look at Burnley as a team to pick up points on. But Burnley have surprised many this year. Conversely, Leicester City have failed to live up to expectations and it’s no surprise that Bournemouth picked up a win here. I see them staying where they currently are: mid-table.

Burnley

won 3-2 Bournemouth

lost 0-1 West Ham

Burnley are a scrappy bunch and i personally find them fun to watch. Their result against Bournemouth was well earned and a slip up against a West Ham side finding results will not dampen their season. They look well safe from relegation this season.

Chelsea

won 1-0 vs West Brom

won 1-0 vs Sunderland

Chelsea don’t necessarily blow you off the pitch. Nor off the pitch. Not sure what i’m getting at there. What i’m really trying to say is that they are getting results and lead the table. Can’t argue with those facts. Only question is if the man who has looked 45 since he was born, Diego Costa, get injured then who fills in to score a single goal each game?

Crystal Palace 

tied 3-3 vs Hull City

lost 1-2 vs Man United

Unpredictability inherently comes with the risk of danger. I see 2 equally likely outcomes for CP’s unpredictable season. The first is that they take the goals they can frenetically score and shore up their defense to move up the table. The second is that they continue to concede regardless of how many 3+ goal games. 

Everton 

lost 2-3 vs Watford

Won 2-1 vs Arsenal

Who are this Everton team? They follow a run of abysmal results with a win against Arsenal. The only certain thing in their team is that Romelu Lukaku will leaving as their boss indicated as much. I think he covers some major holes in this team and will be sorely missed regardless of who is bought to fill his shoes. For Everton’s sake they better hope they can delay it until the summer.

Hull City

lost 0-1 vs Middlesbrough

draw 3-3 vs Crystal Palace

They were a pick by many to sink this year and they certainly have lived up to that. If you let Middlesbrough get a goal on you without scoring yourself it’s going to be a hard time. I think the draw against CP is a good point though. The relegation zone always comes down to a few points and this could important if it stops the bleeding.

Leicester City

won 4-2 vs Man City

lost 0-1 vs Bournemouth

Anyone who wears blue this year is defying expectations. As inconsistent as they may be Leicester may just be crazy enough to stay up this year with results like they got against Man City.

Liverpool

draw 2-2 vs West Ham

won 3-0 vs Middlesbrough

Arsene Wenger believes that after a loss it is important to just not lose again. That will be the foundation to build on. Liverpool were able to get a draw vs West Ham and then turn in a emphatic result the next match. I see them returning to winning ways and looking to secure the top 4. 

Man City

lost 2-4 vs Leicester City

won 2-0 vs Watford

Like your habitually sobering up uncle getting drunk and screaming at Christmas, Man City continue to be a wild card. This is defying how many, including myself, viewed them before the season as sure challengers. 

Man United

won 1-0 vs Tottenham

won 2-1 vs Crystal Palace

Who is this United we’ve seen the past couple weeks? Consistency? It all feels so new much like a new lover. But will the this form be just a fling or love at long last? Tune in the The Barclays Premier League next week to find out. 

Middlesbrough

lost 0-1 vs Southampton

lost 0-3 vs Liverpool

We all knew Middlesbrough would be fighting for their lives this year. They are lowest scorers in the league and must solely rely on their defense. Should they find themselves in the relegation zone in the final weeks i think their strategy will catch up to them. They will go down.

Southampton

won 1-0 vs Middlesbrough

draw 0-0 vs Stoke City

*Yawn* Southampton are destined for the middle of the table. Nothing big coming their way but they continue to make that Premier League money. Fair enough.

Stoke City

lost 1-3 vs Arsenal

draw 0-0 vs Southampton

Not really scoring goals at the moment but the talents in there. They will probably gain a few table positions the rest of the season.

Sunderland

lost 0-3 vs Swansea

lost 0-1 vs Chelsea

They can’t score, they can’t play defense. They sit bottom of the table. All the right things for sure fire relegation right? Seems like we say this every year yet they still survive. I’m going to say that much like Henry Hill this will be the year living on the edge finally catches up with them.

Swansea City

won 3-0 vs Sunderland

lost 1-3 vs West Brom

They’re getting their points where they need to. I think Bob Bradley will slowly right this ship. I think they just survive this season.

Tottenham

lost 0-1 vs Man United

won 3-0 vs Hull City

Clearly not playing with the vigor of last season. I do see them running very close to the top 4 as they seem to get all the results against teams lower than them. Possibly knocking Liverpool or City out of a spot.

Watford

won 3-2 vs Everton

lost 0-2 vs Man City

Doing well for themselves and a mid table finish would suit them well. A team i have very few opinions on…

West Brom

lost 0-1 vs Chelsea

won 3-1 vs Swansea

A Tony Pulis side will always get their points. It’s never pretty but neither is West Bromwich itself. It’s just that no one saw them doing this well. A win at United this weekend would be huge for them and almost surely secure their season.

West Ham

draw 2-2 vs Liverpool

won 1-0 vs Burnley

This team that played so well last season is finally starting to find some of that magic. They threw away and then hung on to a point at Liverpool and then got a win against Burnley. Results are starting to come for them and they will pull away from the relegation zone slowly but surely.

Week 14

  The game of the week was a thriller! Leaders Chelsea took on contenders Man City in what was a clash of giants at the top. City took the lead through a Gary Cahill own goal. De Bruyne really should’ve added on to the tally but much like the falling airplane in Allied it was always bound to miss. Don’t be mistaken there was no Brad Pitt-Marion Cotillard love affair between these two sides and when Chelsea came storming back in the second half the tensions flared with a Kun Aguero red followed promptly by Fernandinho also being sent off. It was all the tension and drama the Premier League is known for with even few goals spattered in there. Brilliant.

Leicester City continue their crash toward Earth and, more importantly, the relegation zone. They look more likely to repeat 2014-15 than 2015-16 at this point and i’m not sure what else to say about them. Hopefully they put all their ducks in the Champions League and become the first team in the Championship to also be in the Champions League. Lowly Sunderland took their points quite happily and gave plenty of fodder for talk about the bottom of the table. They remain in by one point.

Ever wanted to see a blatant red card for a karate kick to the face a-la Erik Cantona? Dojo master Neil Taylor did just that to Kyle Walker. Had Vine not gone under I should imagine that would one of their top sports videos. If kicking studs to face doesn’t get you sent off I don’t know what does. Not that Swansea used that good luck to turn the game in their favor. They were swept aside like all plans of dieting before Christmas. It’s early December and Swansea appear sunk. Tottenham meanwhile hold firmly onto fifth. Cheers.

West Ham are really facing an identity crisis in more ways than one. Does this giant, classy new stadium reflect the West Ham we all know? Where’s the grit and East End heart? Apparently the players don’t know either and they were crushed by a London blitz as Arsenal emerged with a big win. The Gunners really clicking right now, huh? They move second, and deservedly so.

Pool play their game plan perfectly. It looks to all be going their way just as Bournemouth gave themselves a lifeline at 2-1, Can scored to seal the deal. That’s all I can seem to remember about that game. Moving on…

Everton and United played to a thrilling draw. Marcus Rojo should’ve been sent off early for a two studded tackle. Instead only sees yellow. Probably for the benefit of the game. The Zlatan emerges when he feels like it and this appears to be the second time this season he’s consistently finding the net. Late on Mourinho looked to shut up shop by bringing Sideshow Bob  on. However, in a twist of fate it was Fellaini who earned Everton a penalty late that equalized the home team.

Week 13

 

Let’s get at it! City at the top end of the table battling Burnley. Burnley once again gives such a scare to any big club who challenges them. This one was no difference as they took an early lead after the City defense switched off. However, two goals from Kun Aguero, including a game winner that looked like a FIFA online goal, ensured another City win.

Leicester City are who we thought they were: European giants. However, like a woman married to a physically abusive husband, their domestic troubles remain. Really they were quite fortunate to get a draw from this one as they had a penalty that was a clear foul from Leicester and should’ve been reversed. Wes Morgan climbed over Calum Chambers and forced his hand to hit the ball for a penalty. It was the football version of your older brother giving you the old ‘quit hitting yourself.’

Swan Zzz and CRYstal palace. How good could this bottom of the table clash be? 5-4 you say? Well fuck me. This could’ve been the game of the season. Swansea City with first time American-owner Bob Bradley desperately need a win. And they seem to have it as his team have the lead 3-1 in the 70th minute. Then they conceded not 1, not 2, but 3 goals in an utter meltdown! Wow sucks for Swansea. But wait! Swansea get another with a few minutes to go and then in the third of seven minutes of stoppage time they pull ahead to win the cuntin’ thing! It’s Swansea’s second win of the season and moves them out of the bottom slot of the table and puts more weight on Crystal Palace’s sinking ship.

Sunderland came to Anfield looking to park a double decker bus as big as Moyes is incompetent. Large it was and Liverpool lost their talisman Coutinho for 5 weeks as a consequence. But the bus held and it held. And then Origi came on to score an IRA bomb of a goal that broke through the bus. A Milner penalty put it away to secure the Scouser’s three points.

Tottenham started hot against Chelsea with Christian Erikson scoring. But this Chelsea team is patient and confident. They have quality all over the pitch and really work together. We all knew the talent they had in key positions but it’s the players like Victor Moses who are stepping up and making this team even stronger. Tottenham on the other hand look about right on the table at 5th. They can’t beat the teams above them.

Arsenal got their win against a Bournemouth side that isn’t afraid to go away and attack the big boys. They look fierce like they have a chip on their shoulder but simply don’t have quite enough quality to do real damage. Hats off to them though. A chip on the shoulder is what it looks like Arsenal are playing with. They keep getting results and sit right outside the top 3. The opening day loss to Liverpool is the only thing that separates them. Are we seeing an angry, hungry Wenger? If so, the top 3 and Londons boulangerie’s better watch out.

 
One more week gone and the situation at the top is no more clear. Perhaps ill start at the bottom then… Bob Bradley’s Swansea (that still sounds weird to say) collected their first points since the American took charge. They were helped out a bit by Lukaku not being able to use his testicles to steer in a fast cross in the first half and then helped out again by Jagielka’s career going down the shitter. He gave away his third penalty of the season and looks about as clumsy as a giraffe on roller skates.

A clash of bottom table giants ended in an emphatic Sunderland win. It was about as chippy and rough as you’d expect. Both these clubs eye each other in the schedule when they look at when they’ll get their points for the season and Sunderland dominated in a 3-0 victory.

Strange old time for Leicester City, isn’t it? You rise from the ashes to win the Premier League one year and the next you’re slain by the King Arthur’s sword that is Watford. Truthfully Leicester never really looked in this one. Nowadays, they turn their noses up to the likes of Watford like an ex-girlfriend and prefer to flirt with their new hubby the Champions League.

Of course we started out the weekend with two sides who looked to get points for very different reasons. Manchester look to keep getting points to avoid Mourinho’s sacking at the moment and Arsenal look to keep pace at the top. But it was United who took the lead through a Juan Mata goal that it looked like Arsenal couldn’t be bothered defending. Arsenal sees your title winning projections and raises you indifference in big games. They do sit near the top however and they showed exactly why they’re in striking distance. The North Londoners have very conflicted feelings towards the French and unfairly maligned substitute Olivier Giroud added to their Frankish conundrum. Arsenal are always criticized when they don’t win but I see this as a very good point as Arsenal tends to clean up the bottom half of the table anyways; they’ll get their points in places other teams overlook.

Title Race. A term some fans fear (Liverpool) and others look forward to (Chelsea). In that sense all is right in the table after week 12. Liverpool never want to be favourites and they showed why this week. They missed opportunity after opportunity as Southampton parked a Mourinho sized bus in front of their goal. It was a game that had a Sturridge sized hole in it and his appearance wasn’t until late. In fairness the game should’ve been wrapped up by then as Liverpool had many clear cut chances to tap it through the pressurized bus doors. Liverpool will see this a chance to remain second and pick up their points without title pressure. They also fulfill their habit of being able to score a lot or keep a clean sheet. However the scientific laws of the universe dictate that both cannot occur at once. Oh well. Chelsea took command of the table with 1-0 win over Middlesbrough. The scoreline looks kind to Middlesbrough as Chelsea looked dominate and hit the post while missing their share of chances. Even when things don’t completely go their way this Chelsea team seems to get their points. That combined with the talent they’ve acquired on the team are why Chelsea will be favourites throughout the season.

Week 11

  Week 11 and an extraordinary run of draws (oxymoron?) saw Liverpool finish top of the league table. Both Man City and Arsenal had chances to go top but both were held. Lets start at the Etihad where a less than convincing Citeh took the lead through the only piece of brilliance in the match through Kevin De Bruyne. It was a goal as precisely timed as Luke’s deft blow to the Deathstar with De Bruyne the set up man and Aguero timing his run perfectly. The team that beat Barcelona this week left it all late though as Middlesbrough earned a late equalizer in stoppage time. This cemented Middlesbrough’s status as better than Barcelona, perhaps now known as Middleslona.

Burnley! Is it possible to not love this team? They continue to confound with their play and their seemingly computer generated crest. If you like slick possession football and talent abound then maybe Burnley FC aren’t for you. This week we saw them beat Crystal Palace on not one, not two, but three counter attack goals! It like you’re a kid and a friendly man on the corner is selling candy out of his van, you’re lured in. And then, BOOM! Just as you’re the victim of a strange man’s carnal delights Burnley have taken it all the way back and it’s in the back of the net.

Poor, poor Everton. The first two goals they conceded could have easily been disallowed as a man offsides was impeding the goalie’s line of sight. But the three that followed they will shoulder the blame for. For the man that was born looking like a 40 year old, Diego Costa’s goal scoring continues to tick higher to 9, leading the league. The only thing that stops this dynamic Chelsea team’s lead of the lead is a poor Watford.

Liverpool leap top of the table with an emphatic crushing of Watford at home. For this team challenging for the title is the easy part. Keeping a clean sheet however has proven much more elusive. It appears the American owners are displaying a true American spirit in their ‘attack fist’ mentality.

Speaking of Americans, Bob Bradley has done little in his short tenure to stop the Swansea bleeding. Struggling United swept aside Swansea as Ibrahimovic and Pogba got on the score sheet. At this point any result is good for the Welsh side as it would provide them something to build on. I wouldn’t bet on it though.

Week 10

 

Well well well. Another week gone and we still have no idea who the clear front runners are. Perhaps we’ll start with Arsenal who managed to break through against lowly Sunderland. That’s no slight against Arsenal who are playing really well but against the Jordies who currently sit flat bottom of the table. It seems as though we see this every year but they are shaping themselves up for another great escape. Arsenal, on the other hand, are playing so well that Olivier Giroud is finding the back of the net! Cue gasps. Much like their opinions on Arsene Wenger the Gunners aren’t sure whether they like Giroud or not. After all, Alexis Sanchez and the single footed Ozil can’t do all the work.
Regardless Arsenal sit tied top of the table with Manchester City and Liverpool. City managed to beat a West Brom side that plays as beautiful football as Tony Pulis himself which is to say West Brom got demo’d. Aguero has been so consistently brilliant that it’s almost taken for granted as he scored two and set up another. Their defense record is good enough and with the way they score goals they look to have the best chance for the league.
Speaking of stout defending, lets talk about Liverpool. The comparisons to the 2013-14 side grow stronger with every week. They can score goals out of their ass, they absolutely cannot defend, and just about every game is a heart attack for their supports. The Scousers wouldn’t have it any other way though as they sit tied at the top, third on goal difference. A big difference to that year though is the focal point on this team. Klopp has now devised a team where, although individual players still matter, the team is not focused around one player (Luis Suarez.) He can plug and play like players when needed and there isn’t a drastic drop off in quality. Although i don’t see them winning the league this year i do fancy Klopp for long term success at the club as he is about the only manager i can remember there since Benitez who has actually successfully implemented a clear style of play, much less in one year. If you’ll remember Rodgers was supposed to bring a ‘Barcelona’ style of tiki-taka and was all out counter attack by his second season.
Now lets get to the meat of the week. Manchester United and mighty Burnley. Burnley may be the best or worst thing for the Premier League. They have no pretensions of playing beautiful football. Instead they are organized and look to hit on the break. Unfortunately for them about the only thing that took a hit was Jose Mourinho’s pride as he was sent to the stands where it appeared that the fans in the first row were giving him stick. He was then moved higher to avoid the players hearing him and he had what can only be described as his ‘hitman messenger’ deliver notes to the assistant coach. They must have been dank memes because they really did fuck all on the pitch as Herrera picked up a 2nd yellow. Manchester United now sit eighth, level with Watford. It’s not quite November yet but Mourinho has began to test the patience of the Red Devil faithful.
The Toffees managed to be much more frenetic in a solid win against a West Ham side who have all the pieces in place on paper but look lost as a team. Perhaps it’s the half mile between the pitch and the first row of fans at their new stadium but this side is struggling to stay afloat currently jut above the drop zone.
Chelsea round out the contenders who walked away with another win this weekend. Chelsea are playing as attractive football as Antonio Conte looks (I call him the anti-Pulis.) He is trying to install an Italian defense and has managed to get Chelsea’s two best players of Hazard and Costa, the man we all love to hate, back to form. For me City and Chelsea will be the one’s to beat this year.

Alberto Moreno trying to defend:

Premier League Week 9

 

Well it was a week in which multiple teams could've gone clear at the top, yet none did. No 6-0 routs of Real Betis here, no. Here in the Premier League things stay close. Much like Duggar family children there are no real standouts at the top. Tottenham started off the day with a chance to go top but a goalless draw with Bournemouth seems like the least unlikely result as both sides had chances. Perhaps Tottenham realized that they contractually had to stay behind Arsenal who had yet to play yet. Speaking of the Gooners, 'Borough looked to shock the Emirates but a series of robotic saves by the expert-mode computer that resides in Petr Cech's helmet denied them. Leicester meanwhile looked to take their European form (they're really having a go. Perhaps realizing another chance may not come around) and apply it the league. Ranieri's biggest test as a manager this year is rotating the squad to finish in the top 4 again. It appears to come and go in spurts as his side are about as consistent as Alberto Moreno's every-changing haircut. Stoke City have managed to drag themselves out of the bottom 3 with the Welsh Jesus (Joe Allen) providing a metronome in their midfield. Burnley continue to scrap points where you'd least expect them, unless of course, you're an Everton fan. While Liverpool ended Saturday with a win against a Tony Pulis side that conceded from 2 counter attack goals. It was such an un-Tony Pulis like occurrence that the track-suit wearing boss decided to further baffle the world by wearing *gasp* a suit and tie in the press conference. Then came Sunday. Southampton decided to bring some sun with them from the south coast to the blackhole of Manchester and scored early through Nathan Redmond. City pulled level after the break but the go-ahead-goal never came and the final opportunity of the weekend to go clear at the top had faded. And Finally, those of you who aren't from the red half of Manchester, or simply don't like Jose Mourinho, the real treat came at the end. A 4-nil drubbing of the Red Devils by Italian led Chelsea saw blue fireworks on the pitch and red ones off. Mourinho looked utterly offended as Antonio Conte celebrated the fourth goal of the day as the world rolled it's eyes at the irony that Mourinho was blind to.